Stuffed With Fun: July 2009

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

A man was riding his Harley along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said,' Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'

The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'

The Lord said, 'Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things.

Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.'

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'Lord, I wish that I, and all men, could understand our wives and girlfriends; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy.'

The Lord replied, 'You want two lanes or four on that bridge?

Chanakya Neethi - 16 Famous Sayings by Chanakya

16 Famous Sayings by Chanakya

1) "Learn from the mistakes of others... you can't live long enough to make them all yourselves!!" - Chanakya

2)"A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and honest people are screwed first." - Chanakya

3)"Even if a snake is not poisonous, it should pretend to be venomous."
- Chanakya

4)"The biggest guru-mantra is: Never share your secrets with anybody. It will destroy you." - Chanakya

5)"There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is no friendship without self-interests. This is a bitter truth." - Chanakya

6)" Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions - Why am I doing it, what the results might be and will I be successful. Only when you think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead."
- Chanakya

7)"As soon as the fear approaches near, attack and destroy it." - Chanakya

8)"The world's biggest power is the youth and beauty of a woman." - Chanakya

9)"Once you start a working on something, don't be afraid of failure and don't abandon it. People who work sincerely are the happiest." - Chanakya

10)"The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind. But the goodness of a person spreads in all direction." - Chanakya

11)"God is not present in idols. Your feelings are your god. The soul is your temple." - Chanakya

12) "A man is great by deeds, not by birth." - Chanakya

13) "Never make friends with people who are above or below you in status. Such friendships will never give you any happiness." - Chanakya

14) "Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years. For the next five years, scold them. By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like a friend. Your grown up children are your best friends." - Chanakya

15) "Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person." - Chanakya

16) "Education is the best friend. An educated person is respected everywhere. Education beats the beauty and the youth." - Chanakya

Arithemetic and Mathematic between Man and a Woman

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand
her at all.

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more
willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.